Dog Tooth Fairy

Scene: Preschool sharing time

Maci: This is my dog's tooth. It came out of his mouth.

Grace: Did the tooth fairy come and give him money? ... or a bone?

Strength

Alec: Are you strong?

Me: Umm...I guess kind of, why?

Alec: Are you stronger than my dad?

Me: I'm not sure. What do you think?

Alec: Well, you can lift the earth...but my dad, he can lift the universe soooo...

Getting Down to Business

AJ: Where is your mom?

Me: I don't know...she might be at her house, I guess. 

AJ: Where is that?

Me: Three hours from here.

AJ: Oh, so you don't live with her?

Me: Nope.

AJ: Do you have a roommate?

Me: No...

AJ: Do you have a husband?

Me: No...

AJ: So you live alone, basically?

Me: Yep!

AJ: So, when are you going to get a baby?

The Highway

Alec: The highway is fun. It is like a racetrack for cars, to see who can get to the exit first!

Three and What?

Dylan: I am three and 2/15ths!

Discipline is Hard

Adam, another time after sitting in a chair for a few minutes: Miss S, I've been sitting here for a long time. Do you want me to DIE in the chair??

Streaking

Me: Nina, please stop shrieking. You need to use an inside voice.

Liv, who considers herself my shadow: Yea, Nina. Stop streaking!

Trained

Adam has been night time training at night so he doesn't have to use his pull-ups. After two days of this, he comes into the classroom and announces to all:

I'm trained! I'm trained!!!

Deodorant

Margo (speaking of her sister Annie who is 10).

 Annie has (yucky face) DEODORANT! EWWWWW!!!

Whiles

Adam, after sitting in a chair for a few minutes because he was not making good choices: I've been sitting here for a long time. A LOT of whiles. (Sad crying). I just want to throw all my whiles away!!

Accused

Rava: Can I be accused?

(Translation: excused)

Clothes

Alec:  Why are you wearing…CLOTHES?!

Baseball

Sam, holding up a baseball: There was a mean guy on my dad's team who said "We don't want you on the team you're too small" then my dad showed him and conned this ball out of the park!

Sorbet

Alec, after eating his strawberry sorbet-

That was really good! I tasted the strawberry, but not the sorbet...

Feet

Aky: When I was a baby my feet were brown!

Me: What are they now?

Aky: Umm, I don't know. I haven't looked.

Visiting Heaven

Alec told me he wants to go to Heaven right now and be with Jesus, just so he can ride there on a big construction backhoe. He also told me he's just visiting and he'll be back.

Bad Words

Daley: I know FOUR bad words.

Me: Oh- what words are those? 

Daley- (whispering). Stupid. Idiot. And H-E- double hockey sticks!

Dating

Ava: You can only go on dates before you get married. Well, I mean, you can go on dates after you get married too but only with the person you married so it's not NEARLY as fun!

Chrysanthemum

Alec asked me how to spell my name, so I did, letter by letter.  Afterwards he said, "Wow! That's almost as long as Chrysanthemum!!"

Marriage

Ava: Did you get married yet? 
Me: Not since the last time I saw you, no. 
Ava: Okay, well there is this lifeguard at the pool...but he's not the prettiest guy...

Best Friends

Two little girls at the mall play place were cracking me up- they were playing together and after a couple minutes Girl #1 said, "Let's be BEST friends, okay?" Girl #2- "Okay!"...a couple seconds went by and then Girl #2..."So....what's your name?"

Perturbed

Alec: Can I let Maj (their dog) in? 

Me: Well, it's a nice day out so let's leave him outside. The construction workers are here and he gets a little perturbed when they are here. 

Alec: You mean he gets a little woof woof? 

Turks

Me: Lil, how long did the flight to Turks take?
Lil: Do you know the show iCarly?
Me: Yes...
Lil: It was as long as two of those.

Staples

I just got in trouble with Elle for not telling my parents I stapled my finger, an event that took place 20 years ago.

Elle: There's always a reason to tell your parents EVERYTHING!!

Chocolate Fall

We were at a chocolate factory and the tour guide told the kids to look at the chocolate waterfall. 

Alec was quick to correct her: That's not a chocolate waterfall. There's no water in it. It's a chocolate fall.

Road Trips

Beck: My favorite thing about long trips is..well, besides actually getting there I mean, the yummy food. I need the protein from my candy to get through the day.

68

Alec: How old are you? Are you 68? 

Me: no... 

Alec: you're OLDER than 68?!?!"

North Pole Kids

Chase: One of the kids from the North Pole just fell asleep on the couch. I don't remember his name...

(he was referring to his cousin who was visiting from Alaska)

Driving

Beck: Seriously. I can back up and parallel park the lawnmower. I should be allowed to drive!

Sugar

Chase: Hey Beth, your car is beginning to smell good. It smells like sugar.