Christmas Coal

Daley: Did you get coal?

Me:  For Christmas you mean? No..

Daley: Oh, so not yet this year. But you might!

Hippopotamus for Christmas

The song "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas" was just on the radio. 

Alec: Why would she want a hippopotamus for Christmas anyway? It wouldn't fit in the door.

Christmas

A conversation the kids had in the car this afternoon

Elle: Alec,  did you know Christmas is celebrating Jesus' birthday?
Alec: oh...wow...it is? So...was he alive last year then?

Naps II

Me: It's time to go- nap time!

Alec: I'm not going to take a nap.

Me: Okay, well you don't have to nap, but you do need to rest your body-- so rest time.

Alec: I'm not going to rest either. I'll just call it (whispers) quiet time.

It's Complicated

Kenna: I'm going to marry Zach.

Tan: Okay, but you know you're MY girlfriend, right?

Naps

Jack, after a 1 1/2 hour nap: That was NOT a good nap. No. It was an awful nap. AW, MAN!

Balloon Farm

After a discussion about airplanes-

Alexa: You have to keep an airplane door closed, otherwise you will float away.

Me: Where will you float to?

Alexa: The Balloon Farm!

Me: What is the Balloon Farm?

Alexa: Where all the lost balloons go!

Bob Evans

Tan: I feel sick.

Me: What's the matter?

Tan: Well I went to Bob Evans and ate too much and got drunk and now I feel sick.

Farms

Co-teacher: So, where would you find a farm?

Gav: (sarcastically) In the middle of nowhere...

So Literal

Me: Lil, how did your socks get under the table?

Lil: I don't know, they don't have legs!

Haircuts

Me: Alexa, please don't pull up the grass.

Alexa: I'm just giving it a haircut!

Perspective

Lucy: I haven't done anything wrong in my entire life!

Me: Really??

Lucy: Nope! I haven't stolen anything from a store, or been to jail, or stolen someone's car.

Dog Tooth Fairy

Scene: Preschool sharing time

Maci: This is my dog's tooth. It came out of his mouth.

Grace: Did the tooth fairy come and give him money? ... or a bone?

Strength

Alec: Are you strong?

Me: Umm...I guess kind of, why?

Alec: Are you stronger than my dad?

Me: I'm not sure. What do you think?

Alec: Well, you can lift the earth...but my dad, he can lift the universe soooo...

Getting Down to Business

AJ: Where is your mom?

Me: I don't know...she might be at her house, I guess. 

AJ: Where is that?

Me: Three hours from here.

AJ: Oh, so you don't live with her?

Me: Nope.

AJ: Do you have a roommate?

Me: No...

AJ: Do you have a husband?

Me: No...

AJ: So you live alone, basically?

Me: Yep!

AJ: So, when are you going to get a baby?

The Highway

Alec: The highway is fun. It is like a racetrack for cars, to see who can get to the exit first!

Three and What?

Dylan: I am three and 2/15ths!

Discipline is Hard

Adam, another time after sitting in a chair for a few minutes: Miss S, I've been sitting here for a long time. Do you want me to DIE in the chair??

Streaking

Me: Nina, please stop shrieking. You need to use an inside voice.

Liv, who considers herself my shadow: Yea, Nina. Stop streaking!

Trained

Adam has been night time training at night so he doesn't have to use his pull-ups. After two days of this, he comes into the classroom and announces to all:

I'm trained! I'm trained!!!

Deodorant

Margo (speaking of her sister Annie who is 10).

 Annie has (yucky face) DEODORANT! EWWWWW!!!

Whiles

Adam, after sitting in a chair for a few minutes because he was not making good choices: I've been sitting here for a long time. A LOT of whiles. (Sad crying). I just want to throw all my whiles away!!

Accused

Rava: Can I be accused?

(Translation: excused)

Clothes

Alec:  Why are you wearing…CLOTHES?!

Baseball

Sam, holding up a baseball: There was a mean guy on my dad's team who said "We don't want you on the team you're too small" then my dad showed him and conned this ball out of the park!

Sorbet

Alec, after eating his strawberry sorbet-

That was really good! I tasted the strawberry, but not the sorbet...

Feet

Aky: When I was a baby my feet were brown!

Me: What are they now?

Aky: Umm, I don't know. I haven't looked.

Visiting Heaven

Alec told me he wants to go to Heaven right now and be with Jesus, just so he can ride there on a big construction backhoe. He also told me he's just visiting and he'll be back.

Bad Words

Daley: I know FOUR bad words.

Me: Oh- what words are those? 

Daley- (whispering). Stupid. Idiot. And H-E- double hockey sticks!

Dating

Ava: You can only go on dates before you get married. Well, I mean, you can go on dates after you get married too but only with the person you married so it's not NEARLY as fun!

Chrysanthemum

Alec asked me how to spell my name, so I did, letter by letter.  Afterwards he said, "Wow! That's almost as long as Chrysanthemum!!"

Marriage

Ava: Did you get married yet? 
Me: Not since the last time I saw you, no. 
Ava: Okay, well there is this lifeguard at the pool...but he's not the prettiest guy...

Best Friends

Two little girls at the mall play place were cracking me up- they were playing together and after a couple minutes Girl #1 said, "Let's be BEST friends, okay?" Girl #2- "Okay!"...a couple seconds went by and then Girl #2..."So....what's your name?"

Perturbed

Alec: Can I let Maj (their dog) in? 

Me: Well, it's a nice day out so let's leave him outside. The construction workers are here and he gets a little perturbed when they are here. 

Alec: You mean he gets a little woof woof? 

Turks

Me: Lil, how long did the flight to Turks take?
Lil: Do you know the show iCarly?
Me: Yes...
Lil: It was as long as two of those.

Staples

I just got in trouble with Elle for not telling my parents I stapled my finger, an event that took place 20 years ago.

Elle: There's always a reason to tell your parents EVERYTHING!!

Chocolate Fall

We were at a chocolate factory and the tour guide told the kids to look at the chocolate waterfall. 

Alec was quick to correct her: That's not a chocolate waterfall. There's no water in it. It's a chocolate fall.

Road Trips

Beck: My favorite thing about long trips is..well, besides actually getting there I mean, the yummy food. I need the protein from my candy to get through the day.

68

Alec: How old are you? Are you 68? 

Me: no... 

Alec: you're OLDER than 68?!?!"

North Pole Kids

Chase: One of the kids from the North Pole just fell asleep on the couch. I don't remember his name...

(he was referring to his cousin who was visiting from Alaska)

Driving

Beck: Seriously. I can back up and parallel park the lawnmower. I should be allowed to drive!

Sugar

Chase: Hey Beth, your car is beginning to smell good. It smells like sugar.

Pregnancy Reduction

Little girl at the playground: my mom is 9 months and 2 weeks pregnant so on Monday they are going to reduce her and give me my baby brother!

Baby Food

Dani was  holding baby Joseph when he started to cry. 

Dani: I think he's hungry.
Me: Hmm, do you think so? His mommy just fed him for a long time.
Dani: No, he doesn't want the food from his mommy. He wants Chex Mix

Mr. President

Inside a preschool classroom, an African American parent came to observe.

Child: Is that...the President?!

Origami Stress

Sylvie, age 6: Oh, darn it! (origami related stress)
Max, age 10: Sylvie! Watch your language!
Sylvie: (very confused) This IS my language!

Leg Pulling

After driving away from a play place we've been to before, I asked Alec if he remembered being there before. 

Alec: Noooo...

Me: Hmm, I'm not sure I believe you! Are you pulling my leg?

Alec (reaching his arms out): No, I'm not pulling your leg. I can't even REACH it!

Homeschooling

Max, as we are discussing chemistry classes and homeschooling: Oh wow, you were homeschooled, that's so cool! Did you get to have any neat teachers?
Me: Umm...my mom?
Max: Haha, oh yea...right!

Princess Sophia

Alec: That's Sophia. She goes to daycare. She's the only princess in our WHOLE school!

New Here

Me: Chase buddy, you're getting too old!
Chase: No, I'm new here.
Me: Why do you say that?

Chase: Well, I'm not old like you so I'm new here.