Pregnancy Reduction

Little girl at the playground: my mom is 9 months and 2 weeks pregnant so on Monday they are going to reduce her and give me my baby brother!

Baby Food

Dani was  holding baby Joseph when he started to cry. 

Dani: I think he's hungry.
Me: Hmm, do you think so? His mommy just fed him for a long time.
Dani: No, he doesn't want the food from his mommy. He wants Chex Mix

Mr. President

Inside a preschool classroom, an African American parent came to observe.

Child: Is that...the President?!

Origami Stress

Sylvie, age 6: Oh, darn it! (origami related stress)
Max, age 10: Sylvie! Watch your language!
Sylvie: (very confused) This IS my language!

Leg Pulling

After driving away from a play place we've been to before, I asked Alec if he remembered being there before. 

Alec: Noooo...

Me: Hmm, I'm not sure I believe you! Are you pulling my leg?

Alec (reaching his arms out): No, I'm not pulling your leg. I can't even REACH it!

Homeschooling

Max, as we are discussing chemistry classes and homeschooling: Oh wow, you were homeschooled, that's so cool! Did you get to have any neat teachers?
Me: Umm...my mom?
Max: Haha, oh yea...right!

Princess Sophia

Alec: That's Sophia. She goes to daycare. She's the only princess in our WHOLE school!

New Here

Me: Chase buddy, you're getting too old!
Chase: No, I'm new here.
Me: Why do you say that?

Chase: Well, I'm not old like you so I'm new here.